coNQuer dOuBT.....

I got caught by this post of a friend....Each line strikes that truly can touch you...I don't know how you would assess it but for me, it would be a big help....

Here's a little something that I hope will help you in your daily activities or simply when you face life on a daily basis!

Conquer doubt

Are your doubts holding you back? The way to conquer your doubts is with action.

Wondering about whether you can do it will not get it done. The only way to know for sure is to jump right in and get started.

Avoiding the challenges will only make those challenges grow bigger. Instead, walk right up to each challenge, and the closer you get, the more ways you'll discover to get beyond it.

If you wait until conditions are perfect, all you'll ever do is wait. Great accomplishments are given birth by starting from where you are with what you have.

As soon as you start to take action, you'll begin to replace your doubts with courage and confidence. The more you do, the more insignificant and powerless those doubts will become.

Stop wondering and start doing. Once you've done it you'll always know, without the slightest doubt that you can.
-- Ralph Marston

tEaCHinG102: gRacE - uNDeR - pReSSurE

Pressure is the exact word to describe what I felt for the passed days. Aside from the pressure my career really takes me everyday, the current event truly affects me considering where I am right now, so away from home. The current event specifically the Bangsamoro issue that resulted to a merciless attack by the rebels in Kulambogan, Lanao del Norte shook me knowing my sister is in Marawi, Lanao del Norte for her schooling. And thank God she’s safe. But still the news was disturbing considering it’s devastation that caused 41 deaths with most number are of the defenseless civilians.

It is the Headline and people in the nearby towns are in distress. Though the situation is under control still everyone is going to panic. Humor, which I hope will just be, that the next targets include Pagadian, a city next to our town. It makes me truly worried for my families back home. What if they would decide to do so? I can’t afford to imagine it.

And what are the other spots? As they say, history repeats itself which I hope will miss. One of the reasons why I hesitated to come and accept the job was the devastation that happened here. Ipil has the History of such attack that marked in every memory of every Ipiliños. Way back then, the town was surprised by the flying bullets while establishments were burned into ashes. Every single breathing entity was troubled trying to escape the bullets heading to them. And that was noted as the “IPIL MASSACRE”. Citizens here are truly alarmed and are vigilant including me.

But going back to my title to relate it to its content, the “Test of Time” of this career initiated another test just the other day while we were having our Midterm Exam. I was in our office preparing my test papers when 3 of my students rushed inside. One of the three was hurt with blood flowing from her head. One student reported that she was hit by a stone from the other classroom. Being her adviser, I hurriedly call for a ride with my very instinct to bring her to the nearest clinic for wound-dressing and for a medicine.

But the Barangay Clinic was already closed so I asked the driver for another nearest one. But instead of a clinic, he brought us to a private hospital. Worried? Definitely, I was. Good thing somebody from the office called me and asked if I have any penny and I said “None”, even a single penny to pay our fare. I have to stick to my plan, wound-dressing and medicine only to lessen the bill. But the strange Doctor insisted to stitch the little wound on the lady’s head.

I waited for somebody from the office to come for the financial aid. But nobody, in hurry, came so I decided to go back to my place and get a part of my savings for the bill. When I arrived, still nobody from the office was there. The very short operation of stitching was over and the bill was ready. I took it and got me surprised. My money wasn’t enough that made me hurry again to go back to my place and still expecting for some help to come.

The School Guard arrived with his motorbike when I stepped outside. He was talking to me and interrogated me about the girl. It seemed he had brought no single penny with him from the office, so I asked him to bring me to my place.

I paid the bill and came back to school, still hoping for the amount intended. But I was disappointed when I was advised to keep the OR for refund.

The sad thing about it is that that money was intended for my brother, to be used in going to Cagayan de Oro, and for my Grandmother, to pay my debt. How much did it cost me? Php 1,859.50.

But it did not end there. It was just last night when I opened up to my board mates/officemates about how I got disappointed. And good thing this good friend/board mate/officemate had opened with what people in the office discussed about what I’ve done while I was away. According to them, I must have not brought the girl in the hospital that gave me the hint that they were making fun of me, with laughs, with how I reacted on the very scene. Well, I admit I got my adrenaline a little heightened, but only for the common good. And one thing, she is an advisee and it happened on my exam schedule. Will the simple cleaning of water or alcohol guarantee her safety?

They have their thoughts but disagreeable. Or maybe I’m just reacting this much. Nevertheless, I never regretted what I’ve done and of course, the amount I’ve spent. I was able to find an amount for my brother and decided to pay my grandma next time.

Grace under pressure, well, I am sure I have it till this time. Don’t let them see that you are pressured or they’ll take it as your weakness.

Yesterday It Was....

Yesterday was a day to reflect. It was my comeback after a long month of absence. It was the day I fulfilled my own promise, a promise to someone great and powerful. A promise considered to be a great sin if being failed considering the person intended to. And one thing, he's not an ordinary person, HE is ALMIGHTY!

No more question to ask. Yesterday is Sunday and it's the Sabbath day for every Christian who believes it is including me. It's been months when I prevent, or we can use avoid, myself in attending Holy Sunday Mass. I remember the last time I attended one was the special Mass for New Year (so devil I was!).

The reasons behind? One is my Job Schedule. My previous job schedule was 6 days a week, 8 to 5. My girl office mate requested to have Sunday her day off which I considered. I can actually make it since First Mass Schedule is 6 to 7:30 am but I kept on being tempted to have my eyes closed and woke at 7. Then that was the time I started keeping a promise.

Next is the dress code. I always put myself into shame in terms of dress style. I always quote my clothing in going to church though for Christ's sake it's a no requirement inside as long as it's formal and moral. But yes I realized it ever since I learned to be with God. Though I have nice looking one, one problem is the people behind you who are that quick in noticing you and talk behind your back. Though not really all to me, I hate people around who smile to each other and later, would whisper behind against each other. And this is another reason why I declined myself to be inside.

Experience wise and I know you can relate, it always makes me wonder, what are they here for? Is it just to comply one of the Ten Commandments? Yeah, they are fulfilling the command but for Christ's sake, they do still commit sin right after or even while the ceremony is going as they can't keep their evil eyes stare to others with their minds working for criticisms. It's always an issue how rich ones mingle only to their level of richness and the poor ones are for sorry. Or they would give such attention but just for awhile and just for public-figure sake. All of them are craps and that's what I'm avoiding inside, that I could be with them or one of them.

It's not really my problem anymore actually but I just can't help myself everytime I hear them. And though I failed to attend Sunday Masses, I make sure to attend Weekdays' afternoon mass specially Wednesday. But Sunday is still different considering it being Special.

Now the sermon yesterday taken from the Book of Matthew was a real thing to reflect to. It's about how God walked upon the sea and Peter, one of his apostles, tried it for himself and got drowned when his faith was shaken. Then he called for God's help. It touches me inside the fact that I too only call or remember Him for help which is a no,no. I always cherish this message in my phone saying: " Pray not because you are asking for something but pray for thanking God for every good thing He has done."

Another good thing to thank for is I had just paid off my debt which means I'm worry free now in making my budget.

Big Thanks!

tEaCHinG101: When a Woman Cries......

Today is a little sensitive for my teaching career and take note, this is going to be my first review since the day I started this one great job as they consider and I also consider as I quoted in my application, “Teaching is the best among all professions”. So how would a teacher handle a student in her teary eyes? Do I have to feel guilty for making her cry?

I always give this aura of being strict since the very day of the class to somehow give a little barrier between me as a teacher and them as students. Why such technique or a strategy per se? Experience wise, treating students that real good as buddies’ results to the worst you can never imagine. Respect can no longer exist as they’ll learn to treat you as an ordinary one, as their buddy. They’ll find it as your weakness I would say.

But my strictness is not that harsh. I mean not what we perceive as the “Terror with Horror and Witchy” way. I scold them for being noisy, for being inattentive or being disrespectful or with the attitude, behavior or whatsoever that is intolerable inside a classroom. But not the scold as the meaning itself, it’s just words to omit what’s unnecessary (attitude). But this only covers inside the four-walled room where I talk and they are obliged to listen. Outside, I can be the best guy to talk.

I’m a funny type of person so being strict can never be me specially treating people. I always make sure that I make other people smile, happy or laugh every time I share a talk. That’s why everyday is a real pressure to me cause it’s time for me to act like the hard to get guy in front of young ones whose future lies to me. But not the type of asking them to please me. Again, it’s not me. So what happened after applying such way of teaching?

Now here are two obvious criticisms. First, I’m too serious who doesn’t know how to smile. Well, a bit true for the first 3 weeks but now? Not that much. Second, I’m good with insult which I object. They find my questioning after their answer or have done answering somehow an insult. I believe it’s one way to scrutinize their very thoughts in their very brains. It’s a test of how equip they are with the knowledge I have shared or more than shared, imparted. The way I ask them to their very last drop is one way of teaching them to be certain with every word they say, to stand for it. Well, that’s how I see it as a teacher and definitely not for them as students.

Now here comes the very scene I hate to happen. The crying of a student, specially a SHE that just so happened today.

Today is the start of our group reporting after giving them topics to discuss last week. I assigned leaders and discussed what to do that day last week. And the show began with the second group after confusion occured with the scheduling due to a school event which the group leader supposed to take part. So there she was standing in front alone, no members at all doing the reading with her visual aid on the wall. It was all mere reading that really upset me. So, I asked her with gentle at all, not even any huskiness in my voice, what happened, that it seemed she, being in front alone, not prepared. Then she reasoned out that she didn’t understand what she had researched and everything about the topic. And I reasoned out that she must have asked me earlier, remembering she asked me about it just yesterday.

Then I opened up how I got dismayed with her being the leader the fact that I chose her to be one. And since the first group was also not equipped then I dismissed them all. Then there I saw her eyes in tears when she approached me and asked if she can still do the reporting. I was shocked at first and felt something deep inside. Was I the reason behind those tears? I felt a little guilt so I asked her presence in the office.

There I quickly asked why? And she just answered "it’s nothing". Then I asked her again if I’ve done bad to her then explained her everything about being the leader and her responsibility as one. Then she explained that the tears are all for her mistakes for being not that ready. And at that moment, I felt a little ease knowing that it’s not really my fault and more importantly she has learned a little lesson. I gave her then the site where she can have information for her report.

Sigh! I can never imagine myself letting a girl, a lady or a woman cry. It’s not gonna be myself again. But it just did happen today. But good thing is it’s not totally my fault. Making a woman cry is a big crime to commit that would let my world fall. It won’t happen again.

I’m still somehow trying to cope things up and trying to learn from time to time looking forward to come with the best solution. I’m a no education graduate with those subjects relating to the hows of teaching or teacher’s ways that must be applied